I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
