I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
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