Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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