I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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