Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
And then my night got REAL pukey
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
