what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
