I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
We are all done wearing pants today
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
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