Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
