Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
