just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Of course I have a pirate flag
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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