if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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