I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
i came on her dog
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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