Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I just had sex on a roof
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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