idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
