yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
