Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
