whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
