If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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