I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
