I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
