Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
