Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
