I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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