1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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