Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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