Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
accomplished twins. life is a go
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
