there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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