Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
My vagina is officially offended.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
