Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
