Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
