The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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