You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
When did angry sex become our thing?
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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