My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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