I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
