The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
