Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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