i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
