Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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