lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
