Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
