just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
