Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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