she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
