4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
