Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
