the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Oh god it's open bar.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
