That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Bring me that man meat
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
