You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
