meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
