Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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