It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
