Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
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