Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Randomize
